22 April 2021   9. Ramadhan 1442

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Strengthening relations with those who cut off ties

Having difficulties with certain family members that make maintaining ties difficult is not a reason or an excuse to break family ties. The reality of the matter is that breaking those ties has a much more severe consequence on the individual and the Ummah at large than the momentary relief we get from avoiding uncomfortable relations. Rather, the correct and courageous thing to do in such a circumstance is to strengthen relations with the one who is attempting to cut off ties.

Hadhrat Ibn Umar (R) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is reported to have said: “He who returns the kindness that he receives is not really the one who maintains family ties; but the one who maintains family ties is he who is kind to the person who is not good to him."

Note: Obviously, if you have treated your family just as they have treated you, you have not increased family love. This also applies to strangers. You are supposed to do good to a person who has done good to you. But, if you do good to someone who does not care about you, who stays far from you or even refuses to talk to you, your kind behaviour towards him is in actual fact strengthening family love. You should never think of how a relative treats you but think of what you owe him and continue to be good to him, otherwise you could be questioned on the Day of Qiyaamah for not being kind to your family. Never think about what he owes you. You should rather feel happy if he is not being good to you because, on the Day of Qiyaamah your reward for giving up your rights will be far greater than the little money you would have gotten if he had paid up (eg. inheritance) what he owed. (Fazaail-e-Sadaqaat pg 277)
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