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Social Dept - Difficulty with In-laws

Q: I need advice please. I have been married for 9 years now and we have 3 children alhamdulillah. However, we have more unhappy days then happy ones, because of my in-laws.

My husband and I are from different backgrounds and his parents are still unhappy with my husband’s choice.

 

They disrespect me and put me down and my husband does not defend me. Three days ago we had an argument because I said, please we have been married for 9 years now, Allah gave me a lot ofsabr but I don’t want to be insulted all the time in front of my children. He replied that his family is always right and he regrets the day he married me. We haven’t spoken to each other for 3 days now, and sleep separately. It is very upsetting and heartbreaking for me.

I’ve had enough, please advise me, what should I do? Am I wrong ? A Muslim husband is a wife’s protector. He should not disrespect her in public or in front of his family. Thank you.

 

A.

Respected Sister

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuhu

We are perturbed to hear of your marital difficulties. Islam has accorded great rights to women and it is the duty of the husband to ensure
that his wife is treated in a kind and likeable manner. It is also necessary for both partners to cover the shortcomings of each other in front of others. These guidelines are soundly established from the Quran and Ahadith.

We advise you to absorb your heartbreak and lovingly discuss this matter with your husband and seek to resolve it between yourselves. Accord your husband the highest respect and request his sincere attention and co operation. If he is not responsive, then you have the option of approaching senior family members to intervene and assist in resolving the issue. Further to this you may seek the independent assistance of an experienceAalim or Islamic organization in your locality. Importantly, you must seek assistance in some way to resolve the matter.

Personally you should not allow abuse from others to down you and dampen your spirits. Keep focusing on the greatness of Allah Ta'ala and ponder about the numerous bounties and favours He has bestowed upon you. Seek solace in the beautiful name of Allah and the recitation of the Noble Quran. Also, contemplate yourself to be an insignificant unworthy servant of Allah, in this way the abuse will not affect you -Insha Allah. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) has said, "One who adopts humility for the pleasure of Allah, Allah will elevate him."

May Allah Ta'ala ease your difficulties and grant you peace and happiness in your marriage. Aameen.

And Allah Ta'ala knows best.

Was salaam

 

for Darul Ihsan - Social Dept.

 

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