Q: I am married for 5 years and my wife has always been overly possessive of me and does it to a point where it has become very frustrating to me. She is always under the impression that I am giving others more attention than her. She tends to nag me a lot and this nagging leads to fights because I have a lot of things going on in life like work and school and can't take the stress which goes on for days.
Recently, she even became possessive where she doesn't like it when I say thanks or hello when going shopping. I was taught from young ages that if somebody greets you, greet back and say thank you. She doesn't even like this and it has caused problems. I don't like talking to others but she thinks that I do. I recently by mistake said fine when a cashier asked how we doing and I had to lie to her that I didn't. I promised her I didn't say anything and now it is eating away at me. I did it because I fear constant fighting and nagging and pressure which she is having a hard time handling.
Can you please give me some advice. I hate lying but I do it to save our marriage and the beauty part of it is that we have no serious problem, just her jealousy. I feel that there's an underlying problem. Please advice. Jazakallah
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
You should be grateful that your wife has such intense love for you, which is a clear sign that she will not turn her gaze to anyone besides you. However this intense love needs to be moderated and directed correctly. You should sincerely acknowledge her love and always make her feel that she is the most important person in your life. Remember a woman is by nature very emotional and fragile. By reprimanding her it will only break her psychologically.
Kindly explain to her that by being courteous to others you do not undermine her in any way. In a mild way, express your dissatisfaction at her nagging and advise her to be cheerful. Adopt patience upon her misbehaviour and truly give her all the attention she wants. Insha Allah, very soon she will have no reason to behave abnormally. Also make abundant dua for her. May Allah Ta'ala assist you.
And Allah Ta'ala knows best
Darul Ihsan Social Dept.