How Husbands to treat wives Part 1
• There are certain principles to live in home – otherwise it is a den!
• From your Dunya 3 things I love: “Perfume (brain), pious wife (heart) and Salaah (soul)”
• Qur’aan has declared couple as “Libaas”. Two benefits of cloths; covers one and protects one – also adorns one. Wife protects husband from disgrace and disorderely life and also adorns his life and home and also clothes are closest to him – so couple are closest.
• Two parts of married life: Friendship then mercy.
• “House is built by hand but home is built by heart”
• Woman makes supreme sacrifices for husband … leaves all
• Every woman requires 3 (5) things:
1. Protection of life and self-respect
2. Forgiving spirit – tolerance, patience
3. Now fear of unknown, future gone.
4. Attention - at all times – quality time. Satisfaction in every way
5. She wants to share with; companionship; speak to him.
6. Appreciation, praise and consideration; otherwise very ungrateful husband
• Ten major faults of husbands:
1. Never take for granted and ignore her and overlook her
2. Threaten wife with Talaaq and divorce
3. Threaten with second wife …
4. Publicly/openly shout at her in front of family
5. Come late and not give enough time even in Deeni activities
6. Do not follow principles and rules himself and expect from wife.
7. Criticise for small things and suspicious. No praises …
8. Argue with wife due to third person.
9. False accusations and blaming
10. Show dislike and hatred for in-laws, terrible, break relationships with them
How to treat wives (cont.) Part 2
• Just as husband dislikes insults to his family; so too the wife dislikes it
• Simple rule is: Upon marriage, two new parents acquired for both
• Both must respect each side of the family and try to keep them happy and pleased
• If certain golden rules adopted, happiness will be achieved. They may appear to be small and insignificant but effective لا تحقرن صغيرة إن الجبال من الحصاة – Do not disdain anything small, for verily a mountain is made up of stones.
• A couple from Karachi came, the root of the problem was the economic slump in business, brought about tensions in home and getting very upset and unhappy.
• Solution: Enter home with a smile and Salaam. This is an important Sunnah. Leave problems outside.
• Praise and appreciate wife verbally; even food is Sunnah.
• Give her little gifts every now and again.
• Pay attention to little, little things and show interest in them – especially in the kitchen. “To run a big show, requires a big heart.”
• Put morsel into wife’s mouth. This is Sunnah.
• Give a loving nickname. This is Sunnah.
• Joke and be humorous. This is Sunnah. Ran races also.
• Explain and forgive little faults. Don’t shout.
• Even forgive big mistakes. Jannah on this.
• Be firm on Shariah. Then instruct her.
• Your sins will be reflected in their disobedience.
• Both should never get angry together … like pulling at a string, if both pull, breaks, if one leaves, will not break ever…
• Both should never scream at each other … only if house is on fire!
• If arguments happen, never go to sleep without resolving the matter as this leads to break up of the house … it is as if it is HARAAM to go to sleep like this, especially for the wife to do so…
Discourses of Hazrat Moulana Zul Fiqaar Sb (D.B)