Letter from a distraught sister to the Ulama
I am a young Muslim girl, who writes to you, not to criticize, nor through anger or disdain, but through a heartfelt concern and worry for my fellow Muslimah sisters regarding the topic of homosexuality in our community.
It has gone past the point of just a few isolated incidents and is now a full blown Fitnah (trial), ravaging the homes of innocents.
Indeed experience is the best teacher, and I have been a student of its bitter lessons. Just a few short months back, I was ecstatic and excited, eagerly anticipating my marriage to my “prince charming.”
Little did I know that the “prince” was in fact a “princess.” The marriage happened, followed by the abuse, the evidence of his affair with his gay partner, the denial, the breakdown and finally the divorce.
It was a divorce I welcomed and had been denied as his family feared the revelation of their son's truth. It was not a truth unknown to them, but rather a problem they hoped marriage would fix. Of course it did not, I played the role of a beautiful curtain, veiling the truths of their home and I returned to my own home untouched.
The memories still send shudders through my heart. At the beginning of the marriage I turned to Allah in dua, “O Allah, turn my husband's heart towards me, bless us in this marriage.”
By the third month I could bear no more and my dua evolved to, “O Allah, You have knowledge over all, if there is any good in this keep me in it, but if not then O Allah take this from me and me from this.” Alhumdulillah, I am free of the lies, deceit, fitnah and abuse.
There have been five more cases of Talaaq due to this same reason. These five are the only people I know of and those brave enough to speak up. How many more women have lived or are living the nightmare? Only Allah knows best.
Parents must be encouraged not to lie about the true nature of their sons, but rather to seek real help for them. By hiding their faults, they are indirectly enabling and encouraging them, giving the message that ‘do what you choose, just don't let anyone see you or find out.’
Whatever happened, has happened. It is the Will of Allah. The test is from Allah, the ultimate and only Judge is Allah.
I cannot change the destiny of anyone, yet if through greater awareness even one Muslimah can be saved from a false marriage then I ask you to please bring due attention to this matter and help this Ummah to find its feet and stay firm on the fertile soil of true and pure Islam. (letter edited)
Darul Ihsan Comment:
This deep hearted cry should be an eye-opener to all that we are facing serious challenges in our community. The accursed and perverted act of homosexuality is rife, and Muslims are not immune. Parents must be alert, give their children the best upbringing and be honest and truthful about the problems confronting them.
Marriage is a central point in anyone's life; and therefore, it is stressed that prospective parties should conduct some investigation into the background of the partner they seek to marry. This becomes more imperative when abnormal challenges such as homosexuality are on the rise.
Basic principles of giving preference to piety over other factors and to know the background and history of the person and his or her family must be adhered to. There should be honesty and good faith from both sides. May Allah grant safety and protection to all. Aameen.
Darul Ihsan Social Department