Q. I am a Muslim mother of 5 children aged between 2 & 15 years. Ordinarily it is a hectic task to tend to their upbringing and ensure that all their needs are looked after including my husband.
In Ramadaan the pressure heightens to such a degree that I sometimes wonder whether I will cope. At times it becomes very difficult to engage oneself in ibadah and just to perform the 20 rakaats taraweeh at night can be exhausting. Every mum will know what I am talking about. However, I do it for my family and the pleasure of Allah. I feel as women we miss out on the many benefits of Ramadan due to our household chores. Please advise me on how I could spend Ramadaan in a way that I will achieve the objectives of Ramadaan with fulfilling my household duties. I am very grateful .
A. Your zeal to acquire the best out of Ramadan is in itself a great bounty for which you should be grateful to Allah. The hadith states that the intention of a believer is better than his/her action. Indeed the reward for a woman who strives to give her family the best attention and upbringing is immense. Your striving in tending to the household chores and giving your children and husband attention is in itself a form of ibadah for which you will be duly rewarded.
In Ramadaan though, one should utilize the time more effectively by planning and good management. Of course the daily work routine will always continue and there can be no end to the cooking, baking and washing that forms part of this cycle, however, clever planning of one’s day and night will enable one to draw the maximum from it. Set yourself realistic targets as to how much of tilawat, zikr and other nafl ibadat you would like to accomplish and draw up a timetable and then stick to it. If you happen to slip don’t be deterred and continue with your timetable. Insha Allah a great deal can be achieved if this method is employed. In another hadith we learn that the most beloved of actions to Allah are those that are done constantly though few. So be balanced and moderate in your ibadah but strive for sincerity and steadfastness.
Ensure that your good time is not consumed in idle talk, be it by phone or otherwise, and avoid frequenting places like malls, restaurants, etc. A lot of valuable time is lost in such places. Keep communication to the bare minimum and cut out any unnecessary outdoor activity.
Furthermore, whilst engaged in your domestic chores keep your tongue moist with zikr of Allah and recite the Tasbeeh Fatimi after every Fardh salaah. This is an effortless exercise which will keep you in the remembrance and consciousness of Allah all the time. May Allah grant you strength and fortitude in this blessed month.
May Allah grant one and all a beneficial and spiritually prosperous Ramadaan. Aameen.
Darul Ihsan Social Department